California couples who are going through a divorce sometimes choose mediation because it can be less costly and quicker than other options. One mediator believes the process works better because a mediator knows how important listening skills are when dealing with a couple trying to divorce.

One mediator and blogger says that her job involves keeping an open mind, staying present while a spouse talks, and validating feelings. Listening is important during all of this because it allows a spouse the chance to speak without being interrupted and lets one feel heard while also giving the mediator an understanding of a spouse’s point of view. Ultimately, this helps a mediator when trying to figure out what a fair settlement for both parties entails.

One party might sometimes feel concerned when a mediator is listening to or talking with the other person, but it is important to remember that the mediator is a neutral party who is trying to help both partners during a divorce. This means that when a mediator validates or asks questions of a spouse, he or she is not taking sides. A mediator wants to give both parties a chance to express themselves and usually asks questions to get a better feel of a situation in order to figure out the best way to help.

In addition to listening, communication is a key factor in divorce mediation. This is why a mediator listens intently and asks questions of each spouse because the job involves finding ways to facilitate communication between both parties. Giving both parties the ability to communicate better with each other is especially important when children are involved as further contact is needed after the divorce, so a mediator may teach a couple useful skills for co-parenting after their marriage ends.