Mediation can make divorce less stressful and more affordable, but it only works if both people agree to take part. In California, you can’t force your spouse to cooperate with mediation, so what happens if one person refuses?
Mediation is usually voluntary
In most California divorce cases, mediation is optional. Both spouses must agree to it ahead of time. If your spouse refuses, you can’t force them to attend private sessions. In that case, the court may allow you to skip mediation and proceed with traditional divorce litigation. However, for child custody and visitation issues, the rules are a little different.
Court-ordered mediation for custody issues
If your divorce involves children, under California law, the court may order you to attend mediation through Family Court Services. This type of mediation focuses only on custody and parenting time, not property or finances. If one person refuses to attend, the judge may view it negatively when making custody decisions.
Even if the other person shows up but doesn’t participate meaningfully, the court may take that behavior into account.
Refusal could slow the process
When one spouse won’t mediate, it often leads to more court hearings, more paperwork, and higher costs. Mediation can help resolve disputes faster, so refusing to participate may delay your divorce. It can also lead to decisions being made by a judge instead of the two of you working it out yourselves. That means less control over outcomes like property division, support, and parenting schedules.
Your divorce won’t stop just because your spouse won’t mediate. The court can continue with hearings, review your proposals, and issue final orders. While mediation helps many couples reach a fair divorce settlement, it’s not required in every case.